September 28

SEPTEMBER 27, 2016
Dear friends,

Starting tomorrow, I will be on vacation for over a week, so you will get a break from hearing from me.  But you know we preachers always have something to say.  You may remember that my mother says the reason I am a preacher is so I can talk in church.

Three quick things and then some humorous thoughts.


1) If you were at church last Sunday, you saw in the bulletin what I want for my birthday.  My birthday is October 25 -- I will be 58.  What I truly most want for my birthday is to have 200 people in worship on Sunday, October 23.  The only way we can accomplish that is for all of you to be at worship that day and invite someone to come with you.  So begin now to think about whom you can invite -- your spouse, your neighbor, your co-worker or classmate -- and begin praying for that person and then invite him or her.


2) The last three Sundays in October, we will receive a special offering for two wonderful children's ministries in our North Georgia Conference -- the United Methodist Children's Home and the Murphy-Harpst Children's Home in Cedartown.  Our Church Council has approved five special offerings for missions that we will take each year.  Please do not feel pressure to give to all the special offerings; give as God moves your heart and as you are able.  The next special offering will be for the Housing and Homeless Council in February.


3) Last November, two congregations merged to form a new church, Covenant UMC.  So this is our first year as Covenant.  All folks who are members of Covenant as of January 1, 2017 will be considered Charter Members of the new church.  If you were already a member of Faith or Cumberland, your membership automatically transferred to Covenant, and you will be a charter member.  If you have joined Covenant in the last 10 months, you will be a charter member.  If you would like to join the church, it would be my great delight to talk with you about that and to receive you as a member of Covenant Church; you can contact me by replying to this email or calling me at 706-247-6040.  


Please pray for our church -- for God to lead us to the right location for our new building, and most of all for us to have an ever-growing love for God and for our neighbors.  May God bless each one of you richly and use you greatly.


Even when I am on vacation, I will be praying for you.




 Did You Ever Wonder?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 

Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack? 

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 

When someone asks you, “A penny for your thoughts,” and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? Or do you get change? 

Why is the person who invests all your money called a broker? 

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with. 

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? 

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? 

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one? 

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?


If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? 

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? 

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? 

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail? 

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? 

No one ever says, "It's only a game," when their team is winning. 

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? 

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? 

Whatever happened to preparations A through G? 

If peanut oil comes from peanuts and olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

Evan McElreath